


White Noise

by supergirlfics



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13384557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlfics/pseuds/supergirlfics
Summary: Follows the story of 18 year old Maia Danvers as she figures out things she could've never imagined after a suicide attempt. With the help of her family and friends and maybe a special person along the way, she learns who she truly is. I'm shitty with summaries.... better than I describe it. Give me a chance please lol :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this is it guys! Chapter one of my "third Danvers sister" fan fiction. This will have multiple chapters that I will try to post at least one a weak hopefully... I also have to make sure to answer you guys' requests so we will see how this goes. Thank you guys for the support and input and please let me know what you think of this so far! Also, I know things are very vague in this chapter on certain things about Maia but I do this on purpose because I plan to dig deeper into her darkness as the story progresses. I already have the end game planned but I am so open for suggestions from you guys and what you would like to see from my character and the Supergirl characters. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Maia Danvers is my own, original character (and possibly a few future characters are my own as well). All other Supergirl characters are owned by DC and The CW. 
> 
> ALSO: TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS/DEPRESSION/ SELF SABBOTAGE/FORMS OF SELF DESTRUCTION AND SELF HARM!!! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!!

Eighteen year old Maia Danvers sat in the waiting room of her psychiatrist’s office that was on the 8th floor of St. Mary's Hospital. Her long, sleek black hair was thrown on top of her head in a messy bun while she was dressed in her way oversized black sweater, her black leggings, and some black UGG boots. Her pale green eyes were lined in her signature dark liner on her water line anda thin dark line on her upper lid as well. The brunette’s black-rimmed Ray Bans glasses sat on her nose as she pretended to read the novel that sat in her lap.

Her borderline-pale, slender, 5’6 frame sat curled up in the seat quite nicely.

She imagined what her doctor would look like. She was betting that it was some terminally old man that was being carted to and from work from some assisted living home. The therapy wouldn't work and she would still be stuck in the abyss that she just couldn't get out off. Still be stuck in a boring neighborhood with a boring life and a helicopter adoptive mother that didn't know what the terms ‘space’ or ‘distance’ meant, when that's all she used to ever give Maia.

And her sisters would still be across the country from her.

Despite that, she knew she had some pretty awesome friends and two totally rad sisters that all did their best to include her and talk to her. She couldn't imagine not having her older sisters Alex and Kara in her life. They were Maia’s rocks that kept her together when she felt like completely imploding on herself. But Alex and Kara could only hold so much before Maia slipped and ended up in the situation that landed her in this psychiatrist’s waiting room.

Maggie was Alex’s long time girlfriend and she is basically Maia’s sister-in-law already. Everyone knew that Maggie and Alex were the real thing and that they would be getting married when that time came. Maia was overjoyed that her sister had found someone like her to spend her life with.

She had Lena who was like her other sister in more ways than one. Lena understood the darkness within the younger brunette better than Kara and Alex ever could, not that they don't have their own demons and try to help. They do get it, but it's just easier knowing that someone has been exactly where she was and pushed through. Besides, people confused her for Lena's sister sometimes, rather than Kara and Alex’s due to their matching emerald eyes and hair color.

Of course James, Winn, Lucy, and J’onn were a part of that package deal as well and they were amazing to her. J’onn became a sort of father figure to her as we was to everyone and Lucy, Winn, and James were some of her good friends as well.

Maia always found it funny that all of her friends were 24+. She never really seemed to click with anyone her age but her sisters never minded sharing their friends/girlfriends with their baby sister.

She had a pretty great family so she couldn't complain. Yet, here she was in Dr. Levier waiting room because of her very own fuck up. She couldn't do anything right.. If only she would have-

“Maia Danvers.”

The sudden calling of her name caused her to jump and she grabbed her book, clutching it to her chest as she looked over to the doctor with the sympathetic smile that was standing in an open door frame. She slowly realized it was her turn to be ‘shrinked’ and she grabbed her black, leather backpack and quickly headed into the office.

An expensive looking leather couch and an even more expensive looking black chair sat in the middle of the room atop a white rug. Bookshelves and books lined the pale grey walls. Degrees were hung up proudly on display for everyone to see. A small desk was in the corner of the room with a rollie chair pushed up to it. A window with sheer white curtains was on the wall furthest away from the door and the faint scent of flowers filled the room.

Maia rolled her eyes as she assumed this is what the older blonde woman considered ‘homey’. She went over to the couch and plopped down onto it, laying her backpack beside her and laying her book on top of it.

“I'm Doctor Levier,” the blonde woman smiled at Maia as she sat down in her fancy leather chair and reached for her notebook before looking back up at the teenager, “What's brought you here today?” Dr. Levier asked as she tucked a loose strand from her bun behind her ear.

The faint French accent the woman spotted was not lost on Maia's observations.

“My mom and the doctors are forcing me to be here.” Maia grumbled not wanting to talk the woman in front of her.

Dr. Levier let out a hum of acknowledgment as she wrote on her notepad, which made Maia a little nervous as she shifted in her seat on the couch to sit a little taller.

“And how do you feel about that?” The woman looked so sincerely invested in Maia.

Maybe I shouldn't be such a bitch to her… I mean, it's not her fault I'm here. Maia thought as she wrung her hands in her lap.

“I don't know. Irritated I guess. My mom is being a helicopter mom ever since…. that night.” Maia trailed off at the end suddenly feeling nauseous as she thought back to that fateful night almost a month ago.

“You want to tell me about that night?”

“Mmm. Not really. I don't wanna talk about it.”

Dr. Levier could see that Maia was quickly building up her walls again and diverted the conversation elsewhere.

“Okay that's perfectly fine. What made you decide to walk in here? You could've easily ditched this and done something else for an hour but instead you came here.”

“My sisters and friends are scared for me and I don't want that for them. If coming here will make them feel better and not worry as much, then I'll do whatever I have to do.” Maia admitted.

“Your sisters? Are you close?”

“Yeah. They're my best friends.”

“Would you mind telling me about them? They seem pretty important to you.”

Maia cocked her head to the side as she stared at Dr. Levier, almost as if she was sizing her up. She didn't want to be here in the first place but this woman seemed to have already made her want to vomit her life story out and assured her that she wouldn't judge her for anything that she might say.

“I- uhh. Well, they're both older than me. Alex is 28. She is a special agent in the FBI. Kara is 24 and she works at CatCo as Cat Grant’s assistant. I don't know what to tell you. They're both messed up in their own way and I just feel like they understand how I feel, especially Kara's girlfriend Lena Luthor. We’ve gotten really close the past two years and she’s practically my other sister. And Alex's girlfriend, practically wife, is also like one of my sisters but I don't know. I guess I just relate to Lena a lot. I think she gets what I'm feeling.”

“And how is that?”

“Huh?” Maia cocked her head to side in confusion at the question.

“How do you feel?”

A pause played out between them for a solid fifteen seconds before the youngest Danvers could muster up an explanation.

“I don't know. Kinda like a movie that some put on but doesn't really care to watch it. I feel like I'm just here for background noise and that I have no real purpose.”

Dr. Levier scribbled on her notepad for a few moments.

"Kind of like a white noise?" The older woman asked.

That hit Maia in the chest.

She had been searching for a name for it for years, and this woman finds the word for her in two seconds after she tells her how she feels.

"Exactly." She whispered.

This was going to be a long hour.

…

“How was it?” Eliza asked as her youngest daughter climbed into the passenger seat.

“Whatever.” Maia shrugged as she buckled up and looked out of the window at the rain that was turning from a drizzle into a steady downpour.

“Maybe it will be better next time!” Eliza offered her positivity as she turned towards Maia with a bright smile.

Maia just kept looking out the window and let out a quiet sigh of relief as her mother dropped the conversation and start to drive away from the hospital. She was lost in her thoughts and watching the rain otter against the window until a sudden, pulsing vibration went off in her boot.

The tiny brunette broke her staring contest with the rain droplets sliding down the window and pulled out her phone from her boot to see who was calling.

It was Kara.

“Hello?”

“Hello my wonderful baby sister!” Kara greeted, successfully drawing a slight smile to Maia’s lips, “Me, Alex, Maggie, Lucy, James, Winn, and Lena are having a movie and game night. I'm going to pick up potstickers and Pizza and then I’m flying to Midvale to get you. You have to come. I expect you ready by 7 o’clock sharp!”

Before Maia could even muster up a word, the sound of the call ending beeped in her ear and she pulled the phone away from her ear with a roll of her eyes. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard of the car to see it was 6:30pm.

The raven haired girl knew that if she didn't go to Kara's, she would never hear the end of it.

Also, how could she turn down an opportunity to get away from her hovering mother that treated her like cracked glass?

“Mom, Kara's flying over to take me to her apartment. Lena, Alex, and Maggie and everyone else are going there for a game night and they are demanding my presence.”

“I don't know, Maia. Dr. Levier said to not allow you to attend and large gatherings or anything like that when she called the other night.” Eliza said hesitantly.

Maia rolled her eyes as she sunk her nails into her legging clad thigh to keep from losing her temper.

Her mother's incessant rule following for the past two weeks was quickly wearing the brunette down to the bone.

“It's just Alex, Kara, Lucy, James, Winn, Lena, and Maggie. That's family. Not some raging party I'm asking to go to. Besides, Doctor Levier said that integrating more close friends back into my life would possibly help benefit me. She told me I'm improving greatly from the notes that the hospital doctor had given her. I'm getting back on track.” Maia lied.

“Really? She said that? That's great news, baby! I'm so glad to hear that!”

The eighteen year old knew that the last bit of information about her doing better would change her mother's hesitancy completely. She knew that all Eliza wanted to hear was that she was doing better.

She couldn't quite tell if the fact that her mother actually believed that, hurt her or pleased her.

Honestly, Maia just wanted to go to Kara's for the sheer fact that after everyone left, she could lay down and curl up with her sisters, a good conversation, and warm blankets on Kara's plushlike bed. She wanted the sound of thunder and the flash of lighting to lull her to sleep in the comfort of Alex’s cuddles and the smell of warm vanilla coming from Kara's nighttime peppermint scented lotion to intoxicate her. She wanted to be able to pretend that she was okay and that things were normal.

She used to be normal.

Now depression swallows her whole. Anxiety washes over her in waves, like the tide rolling into the shore. She has good days where she's happy and can stuff her sadness into a box, but a box that is overfilled can only stay shut for so long until the thing inside forces itself free.

She has good days.

Today was not a good day.

“Why don't I just order us some pizza and we have a movie night of our own?”

“No, mom. We've been doing that the past four days! Can you just take us home so Kara can get me?” Maia snapped.

Eliza stared at her firecracker daughter for a moment before sighing and nodding dejectedly.

“Okay, then.” Eliza mumbled sadly.

Maia should care that she's upsetting her mother. She should care, but she doesn't. Maybe if it were a few months ago, she might have cared, but she doesn't. She just can't seem to care about anything anymore.

…

Maia settled in on the couch between her two sisters. Maggie sat on the other side of Alex and Lena was on the floor between Kara's knees, her back resting against the bottom of the couch.

That feeling was coming back. The numbness that she feared and the unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her feel sick all the time and rarely went away.

It was egging its way up and she felt her eyes sting with disobedient tears that did what they wanted without her consent.

A firm squeeze of her hand drew her away from herself, the tears cowering back into her tear ducts and the numbness disappearing into a faint pang in her chest. Kara could always tell when Maia was slipping away and she always brought her back before she could leave them again. Sometimes, she swears Kara is lying about not being psychic.

“How's homeschooling going, kiddo?” James asked innocently as he popped some popcorn into his mouth.

“Okay, I guess.” She shrugged tugging absentmindedly at her black sleeves that were already stretched past her fingertips.

Lena’s comforting green eyes glanced back at Maia with a knowing, sympathetic look and a small encouraging smile on her red painted lips. The seventeen year old gave her a ghost of a smile back. The CEO had quickly become one of her closest… would it be right to call her a friend? More like another sister figure of whom she related the most closely with due to the shitshow that was her life.

“Must be nice being able to go at your own pace. I know you always worked faster than everyone else.” Winn noted trying to bring up her high level of function in academics in hopes of making her feel good.

“Yeah, uhm, it’s great.” The green eyed girl hummed as she picked at the lint in her leggings.

Suddenly, Alex’s hand was resting on her thigh, giving a gentle, supportive squeeze. Maia felt the back of her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears and her throat tightened uncomfortably as she held a sob back.

It was all too much. Too much stimulation. Too many people. Too many questions. Too many stares. Too many sympathetic gesture and smiles and glances. Too much life.

It was too much.

“I'm gonna get some air.” Maia addressed the ground as she stood up and headed for the balcony.

“I'll go with you.” Lena offered before Kara of Alex could chase after her, knowing this was a matter that she needed to handle.

The CEO knew how delicate this time in the healing process was and she knew that too much from someone who couldn’t understand could end up sending her back over the edge.

As she headed out the apartment she saw the door to the fire escape shutting.

She head over and pushed her way through the door. Lena watched as Maia braces herself against the railing of the emergency stair exit on the outside of the third floor of the apartment complex.

She was slowly rocking on the balls of her feet towards the railing and back in a soothing motion that Lena knew all too well.

The smell of the rain falling was heavy in the cool night air.

Luckily, Kara was on the 3rd floor, which was also the top floor, and there was a metal awning right shoved them, protecting them from the chilly precipitation.

Maia knew Lena was behind her but she wasn't afraid to not be okay in front of the billionaire.

“Are the pills working?” Lena asked gently.

Maia let out a sharp sarcastic laugh as her eyes glazed over and she pushed away from the railing.

“Are they working? No. They're not. I tell my mom and Dr. Levier they do though. Can't freak them out anymore than I already do.”

Lena hummed, understanding that statement completely

“Mine never really work either. The only things that actually worked were the ones that pretty much turn you into a zombie. I'd take them and when I finally came to and was lucid, it was two days later and time had passed by and I didn't even know it.”

Lena admitted trying to give her an opening to tell her about it.

“Maybe that's what I want.” Maia whispered as she stepped back to the railing ran her pointer finger delicately over the metal rod of the balcony landing of the stairs.

“I promise you it’s going to change soon. One day you won’t want that.”

“I’m not so sure.” The younger brunette smiled sadly.

“Why don’t we go back in?”

“You can. I’m gonna stay here for a few more minutes.” Maia told her, secretly hoping she wouldn’t leave her alone.

A moment passed before Lena walked over and propped herself against the railing next to Maia in a way of telling her she wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know, when I was little, I would sit on my balancing in my room when it was raining and I would just close my eyes and listen to everything around me. The wind shifting the rain. The rain hitting the leaves and the windows. I just zoned out and it helped me forget about all the bad stuff for a little bit.” Lena told her as the light drizzle pattered against the metal awning above them.

Maia just looked at Lena as the older woman looked upwards towards the crying sky.

She looked so peaceful doing so and Maia couldn't help but yearn for that type of emotional stability that Lena was displaying in that moment. Maybe she could try it.

Maia closed her green eyes tuning into the sound out the falling rain. The roar of the rain going on for miles away was the first thing she noticed. Then she zoned into the closer sounds, like the sound of it bouncing off of the awning, the surrounding apartment windows, the parked cars, the grass and pavement below.

Lena was right.

It really helped. It was like the rain was washing away all the bad things even if just for that moment she was in with Lena beside her, making sure she stayed anchored and didn't drift away.

After a few more moments of peace, Maia’s green eyes opened and traveled over, meeting matching ones.

Lena was there for her.

“You'll be okay, Maia. I promise you, you aren't on your own with this.”

The seventeen year old nodded and smiled sadly at her older companion.

“I believe you.”

“Are you ready to head back in?” Lena asked gently.

“Yeah I am.” Maia told her.

They both stood up and headed back into the hallway. Before Lena opened the door, she turned to face Maia again.

“If you need to go again, just let me know and we can go.” The CEO assured her.

“I will. Thank you.” Maia smiled gratefully.

“Don't thank me. You're practically my sister. I'd do almost anything for you, kid.” Lena admitted to her.

Maia reaches over and hugged Lena for a few seconds before they broke apart and she was the first to enter the room.

“Two of my favorite ladies return!” Winn said playfully.

“Just in time for a game of Never Have I Ever!” James said as he poured out the first round of shots, Kara making her own special one.

Her sisters allowed her to drink with them because they would rather her drink with them than off at some party where she could be taken advantage of.

They hadn't let Maia start drinking until a little over two years ago when she turned 16 but after that point, she always found herself tipsy or drunk after games nights when she slept over.

“You okay?” Alex asked quietly as the brunette sat down next to her and Kara, who was also listening.

“Yeah. Lena helped me. I'm okay.” Maia nodded as she squeezed both of her sisters’ hands reassuringly.

“We're proud of you, Maia. For how strong you're being.” Kara stated and caused Maia to take a deep breath.

“I'm trying.” Maia sniffled.

“You're doing great, moonlight.” Kara hummed and pressed a kiss to her little sister's temple.

Lena took her spot on the floor between Kara’s legs, reaching over and squeezing gently at Maia's ankle as a reminder that she was there.

“Alright! Let's get started!” Winn said excitedly as James distributed the shot glasses.

“Okay. Never have I ever had sex with a girl.” The IT specialist said proudly, knowing damn good and well that everyone else in the room had done so.

“Okay that was totally targeting everyone here but you.” Kara grumbled at Winn as she threw back her shot and everyone but Winn followed.

Maia was open to dating anyone that she felt an attraction to and everyone in the room knew that despite the fact that she had never been in a serious relationship before.

Just flings here and there and she wouldn't deny that she had quite a few hook ups.

“Never have I ever… broken my hand because I accidentally punched Kara.” James targeted Winn this time causing the room to erupt in laughter.

“That was rude.” Winn grumbled as he took his drink.

It was Lucy's turn.

“Never have I ever had a threesome.” Lucy smirked looking over at Maggie and Alex.

“I don't know why you said that when you have you idiot.” Maggie chuckled as she, Alex, Lena, and Lucy threw back their shots.

Maia nervously threw back her shot and instantly all eyes were on her.

“No! Not you, Baby Danvers!” Lucy’s jaw was dropped in amusement.

“I.. uhh..” Maia laughed nervously and pushed her fake glasses up onto her head, “after an after party for prom, I kinda went home with Paige Mikaelson and Naomi Reed may or may not have joined in.”

“My, my, Maia Danvers! You got game that I didn't know about.” Lucy laughed as Maia avoided her sisters’ gazes.

She knew Alex was amused but also kind of ‘big sister’ protective about it but she couldn't really say anything, and Kara was more than likely shocked that her little sister could do something so dirty.

“Okay! Enough about me. Never have I ever participated in BDSM shit.” Maia said obviously targeting Lucy.

Oh, how it backfired as she saw Kara and Lena throw back their shots.

“Oh.. my god.”

The eighteen year old face palmed trying not to imagine her sister doming Lena Luthor.

Because we all know that's the way it happened.

Kara spoke up.

“It was one time.. and-”

“Stop talking before you scar me for life.” Maia groaned as she took a shot herself just because she wasn't drunk enough to know this information.

“Oh come on, Maia! What'd you think we were doing behind closed doors? Baking cakes?” Lena teased, loving how uncomfortable Maia was getting.

“No, Lena. I know what the two of you do, but I don't need to imagine Kara.. eww oh my god. I'm so not drunk enough for this.” She whined and poured herself another shot.

“I hate you!” Kara laughed as she swatted at Maia.

“Yeah, you're not alone in that.”

Obviously, she hadn't put enough sarcasm in her statement because the room went kind of quiet and a tension filled the air.

“Whoa.. dark, kiddo.” Maggie whispered.

Maia looked up realizing it was silent and she met several pairs of concerned eyes.

“Sorry.. I- Sorry.” Maia mumbles quickly throwing up her walls again, not like so many people staring at her.

She had gotten too comfortable and said something stupid and she killed the mood.

She should've known better.

Maybe mom was right. This wasn't a good idea. Maia thought to herself as she retreated back behind her metaphorical walls.

…

The young brunette laid snuggled up to Alex in Kara's bed as the blonde was off in the kitchen gathering some snacks and waters.

“How you doing, moonlight?” Alex hummed out as she ran her fingers over and over again through her sister’s hair.

“Hmm.” Maia just hummed as a response, moving impossibly closer to her oldest sister, nuzzling her face into Alex’s neck.

The nickname was something Kara had given her around the age of 8, when Alex was 19 and Kara was 15. The blonde had admitted how Maia reminded her of the moonlight.

Pale skin and dark hair contrasting like the way the bright moon contrast to the black night sky.

The nickname had stuck ever since, so much that even Eliza and some of their friends would call her that occasionally.

Kara had come back into the room, changing into her pajamas with her super speed. 

  
“I don't want to stay in Midvale. It's so far from you two and I hate it there. I love mom but she's so overbearing and always looming around like I'm gonna break.”

“I just miss you guys so much. And I miss Lena and Maggie and James and Lucy and Winn and J'onn. I just miss everyone and I feel so alone over there sometimes.” Maia told them truthfully.

“I'm sorry. I'm gonna fly over every weekend and bring you back here, okay? That way maybe you can feel less alone?” Kara offered as she pulled back the comforter to slip into bed next to her sister's.

Maia nodded, feeling her space heater of a sister slipping in place behind her.

It was silent for a little while, the sisters just enjoying the comfort of each other's presence.

They didn't get to do things like this very often anymore because Alex normally gets called away on work duty and Kara would go have to be Supergirl for the night, so the opportunity was never there. Thankfully, both of the older Danvers had taken the night off, J’onn promising to cover their duties until the next day, so Kara and Alex sprung on the chance to had a sleepover with their youngest sister like they used to.

Maia was drifting back to old memories as a nostalgic feeling wash over her.

“You remember when we were younger and Alex would come home on breaks from college and all of us would cram ourselves into one twin sized bed because we wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Even when we slept.” Maia laughed fondly at the memory.

“Mom would get so mad at us when you and me would go down stairs in the mornings stiff and sore from sleeping so cramped together. Lucky Kara slept like a baby no matter what.” Alex added moving her hand off of Maia's back and jabbing Kara's stomach that was directly in front of it.

“Hey! I can't help it that you humans are so delicate.” Kara rolled her eyes as she moved closer and threw an arm over the raven haired girl’s waist.

It was so much easier back then. Maia thought sadly.

“I miss you guys being around.” Maia grimaced as she was starting to get lost in her sadness again.

“We miss it too, Maia.” Kara admitted as she reached up and ran her fingers through long black strands

“After.. after I got out of the hospital, I moved rooms. I couldn't stay in our old room by myself. It's too big and it's just not right without you guys there too…” Maia trailed off but quickly brought herself back from where she was drifting, “I don't know maybe I'm just being a baby, but yeah. I sleep in the guest bedroom on second floor on the backside of the house underneath our old room. She painted it a light grey for me and bought me all new furniture. She's really trying. I think she thinks it's her fault that what happened, happened. I appreciate it but it's all just too much sometimes. I mean yeah sometimes I feel broken but when she treats me like glass.. sometime I feel like I won't heal.” Maia word vomited.

It was easy to talk to Kara and Alex.

She felt safe and she knew that what she said stayed between them (and Maggie and Lena if Alex and Kara decided to tell them).

Alex glanced over the top of Kara's head, sharing a sad look with the blonde as she rubbed Maia's back comfortingly.

“You're not broken, kiddo. Just a little damaged, but that's okay. We all are.” Alex told her, trying to ease her emotions.

“I'm just tired all the time and I don't sleep much anymore. I'm tired of being tired.” The green eyed girl sighed as she grabbed at Kara's hand the rested limply on her hip.

“Well, why don't you try and rest now? We are here and we aren't going anywhere. You're safe.” The blonde Danvers assured her.

Maia nodded and within minutes, she drifted off into a, for once, dreamless sleep- her sisters holding her throughout the night even though she had lulled into a deep enough sleep that she wouldn't notice if they moved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so chapter two came hella early lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Maia Danvers is my own, original character (and possibly a few future characters are my own as well). All other Supergirl characters are owned by DC and The CW. 
> 
> ALSO: TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS/DEPRESSION/ SELF SABBOTAGE/FORMS OF SELF DESTRUCTION AND SELF HARM!!! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!!

Maia tiptoed down to the kitchen from her room, making sure to skip the 8th step down because it squeaked. She was slightly hungry considering she hadn't really eaten in two days and it was two o’clock in the morning.

She went to the oven and pulled out the leftover pizza box, grabbing a slice and taking small bites off it as she stared off at nothing.

It had been about a week and a half since that game night at Kara's and the sleepover. Another weekend was coming up soon and Kara had promised to come get her, due to the fact that the past weekend’s plans had been ruined by a rogue alien that had been going on killing sprees. Both of her sisters had to hunt down the shape shifter and get it off the streets.

She was so proud of her sisters for what they do but she couldn't lie and say it didn't bother her that they were almost always busy.

The sound of footsteps snapped her out of her daze and she turned her eyes to see her mother standing beside her.

Eliza instantly reached out for her youngest daughter and kissed the top of her head gently.

“Sorry if I woke you up. I tried to be quiet.” Maia mumbled, setting her pizza onto the cardboard box it came from.

“Oh no, honey. I was already awake. I was reading my book in the living room.” The blonde woman pointed off to the dim glow of the lamp in the living room that Maia didn't notice was on.

“Oh.”

She's didn't really know what to say. She didn't really know much of anything anymore.

Eliza stared at her daughter seeing the war she was fighting play out on the facial expressions on her face and the swirling emotions in her green colored eyes. She hated that this wasn't something she could kiss better like she used to do when her girls were younger. It only got harder to be there for them as they grew older.

“You know, I just want what's best for you. I just want you to get better.”

“I know.” Maia mumbled, not wanting to have this conversation.

Eliza paused for a moment, thinking, before she started back up again.

“Honestly, are the pills helping?”

Maia shrugged.

“Not really. They don't make me feel any different. They just make me tired all the time.”

“Maybe you should bring that up to Doctor Levier next week. I'm sure she could get you some different ones.”

Maia just nodded as she took tiny sips of her water. She hated that her mother's go-to statement was ‘tell Dr. Levier’. It really irritated Maia that she couldn't be honest with her mom without her having to bring up her psychologist.

“I love you so very much, Maia. I know that sometimes I'm not the easiest on you and maybe you feel like you don't mean as much to me as Kara and Alex, but I love just the same and as much. You being adopted has nothing to do with my amount of love for you just like that doesn't factor in with Kara. You are all my babies. I just.. We can't lose you too, babygirl. Not after your father-” Eliza stopped as she took a deep breath to settle her stirring emotions, “I know you're mad at me for making you go to Dr. Levier but I'm scared for you. I feel like I failed you somehow by you being so sad and me not noticing until you took those drastic measures.” Eliza sighed as she pulled her daughter into a comforting hug.

Maia couldn't remember the last time she hugged her mother, but she was suddenly reminded that she needed to do it a lot more often. Despite the annoying hovering, the blonde woman gave the best hugs. Not to soft yet not too firm. It was perfect and it made Maia feel stable, if only for a moment.

“I'm just really tired, mom.” The shorter brunette admitted through a husked whispered.

Eliza nodded as she kissed the top of Maia's head and reached behind her daughter for the glass of water, not breaking the hug. She could feel Maia trembling in her hold and her heart broke again for the hundredth time for her youngest daughter.

Eventually, Maia pulled away from Eliza and the blonde woman really took a moment to just look at Maia.

Dark circles were permanently residing under her pale green eyes. She was thinner than she used to be, and she was thin enough before. Her eyes carried a sadness that no one should ever have to feel in their lifetime and an emptiness that terrified the mother. Her skin was pale and dull and not glowing as it used to be.

Maia used to be so happy.

How had this happened?

“Go. Get some rest, baby.” Eliza said as she kissed Maia's forehead and put the glass of water in her hand.

Maia nodded and slowly trudged back up the stairs, water in hand and a heaviness in her heart. The brunette entered her room and made a straight shot for her desk.

It was cold in her room and it caused Maia to shiver upon her foot hitting the hardwood flooring, a stark contrast from the carpeted hallways. She quickly grabbed her laptop, and jumped into her bed.

Maia crawled into bed and noiselessly set up her laptop on the bedside table and set it up to Facetime Alex.

The teenager winced at the sudden bright light of Alex’s lit apartment coming onto the screen. She blinked a few times to adjust to the light as her sister’s face and her sister’s girlfriend’s face came into few.

Maia lazily pulled her comforter higher up to her shoulders, and wrapped her arms around her blanket she had stolen from Kara's place a while back.

“Hey, Baby Danvers.”

The sound of Maggie's voice and the smiling faces of both her and Alex on the screen comforted Maia immensely.

“Hey, Mags.”

“What has you calling so late?” Maggie questioned.

Maia was silent as she watched Alex cuddle into Maggie's side as they stared, undoubtedly, at her image on the screen.

Alex seemed to notice something was off and she shifted a little to seem more attentive while still pressed up against Maggie.

“Are-”

“No.” Maia cut her off already knowing the question she was going to ask her.

Alex completely moved on the screen and sat up straight next to her Latina girlfriend, honing in on her baby sister on the screen.

“I love you.” Alex stated simply.

The statement brought tears to her eyes as she burrowed impossibly closer to her sister’s blanket and her breathing began to stutter and shake.

“Please talk to me, Maia.” Alex begged.

“I'm so fucked up, Alex.” Maia began to cry.

God, she was so sick of crying but she just couldn't seem to ever stop. Her sister’s tender voice was a means of comfort that wasn't helping, but the thought was nice.

“It’s just with mom being such a helicopter mom and being so far away from you guys and no one understands over here. Everyone knows and they just stare at me and Mom if we are out and so many people just look at me with pity or like I’m crazy and I can’t take it. Everything hurts. I can’t stay here.”

Maia’s sobs were the only sounds filling the room in that moment.

“I'm so scared that I'm gonna come home one day and see that text message you sent and me and Kara finding you with that empty pill bottle and bleeding out and we’ll be too late this time. I've never been so scared in my life.”

Maia looked back up at the screen to see her sister and she saw the tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill over.

Great, she thought, another thing to add to my never ending list of fuck ups.

“I never wanted to hurt you or Kara or anyone, Alex. I just wanted to stop feeling like a piece of shit all the time, you know?” Maia told her honestly.

“But you aren't. You are the most important thing in the world to me. Me and mom and Kara and Maggie and Lucy and Winn and James and Lena, we all love you the fucking ends of the earth and back. Maia, I don't know what I would've done if you- dammit, Maia!” Alex’s voice broke as she covered her face with her hands and she began to shake in quiet sobs, attempting, but failing to mask them.

Maia watched as Maggie pulled Alex into a loving hug and she couldn't help but yearn for the comforting touch of someone for herself.

“I'm so sorry.” Maia told her as glanced down at her chipped painted nails, hating that she made her sister cry like that.

She glanced a little further up her arm to see that her sleeve had risen up on her arms, revealing two very pink scars going vertically down both of her forearms for about 3 inches.

She remembered that day like it was yesterday.

The sound of Eliza's screaming and sobbing on the phone frantically voice as she called 911 and then called Kara right after. She could almost hear the boom of Kara breaking the sound barrier as she flew all the way from National City to Midvale in 30 second flat with Alex in her arms. The sounds of the people she loved the most sobbing in pain and fear because of her. The look on her Mom’s and sister's faces as she saw what her forearms and thighs looked like as the nurses changed her dressings. The sound of Lena's and Maggie's breaking voices as she talked to both of them on the phone so they knew she was 'okay'. How Winn and James could barely speak on the call because they were so shocked that they hadn't noticed you were this far gone. The way Lucy begged her to hang onto life when she called.

She never wanted to experience any of those things again.

"I want to do better. I'm sorry." Maia whispered to her sister sincerely.

“I know, Maia. Just.. Don't you dare try and leave us again.” Alex said after calming down a little bit.

“I won't. I promise.”

...

It was about 10:30, and Maia sat on the couch munching away on some extra buttery popcorn as Beauty and The Beast played on the television.

"Hewwo?" Maia mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn.

"Attractive, Maia." She heard Kara tease from the other side of the line.

"I try." The teenager chuckled as she swallowed the buttery delight.

"So I took an off day tomorrow and I can come get you tonight if Eliza will let me." Kara told her sister, getting straight to the point since it was so late already.

"What? Really?" Maia shot up off the couch in excitement.

"Yeah," Kara laughed, "go ask mom."

Maia didn't waste a second.

"Mom!" Maia called out loudly to get her mother to come to the living room.

"What? What's wrong?" Eliza came in running, not know what to expect.

"Kara asked if she could come get me today since she's off tomorrow. Can I go mom? Please!"

Eliza looked hesitant and Maia pulled out her puppy eyes to make her mother say yes. She wasn't quite as good as Kara, but she was good nonetheless.

"I suppose that will be alright." Eliza sighed giving in.

"Yay! Thanks mom!" Maia cheered as she jumped up from her seat on the couch and hugged her mother, Kara temporarily forgotten on the phone on the couch.

"As long as you're happy, sweetie." Eliza cooed as she ran her hand over Maia's dark, silky locks.

"I know how much you miss your sisters, and I know they and Lena and Maggie take good care of you over there." She added.

"They really do. You have nothing to worry about."

"Go get ready, moonlight. Warm clothes. It's cold tonight."

Maia started to head off to her room when she remembered her abandoned cellphone on the couch.

"Oh!"

The brunette ran over and grabbed it, pressing it to her ear as she ran up the stairs.

"She said yes!"

"I heard." Kara laughed, something shifting in the background.

"What's that?" Maia hummed as she grabbed her backpack.

"I'm just moving the couch to my room. Alex, Maggie, and Lena are gonna stay over tonight too. Then it's just you and me tomorrow night because they all have things to do. Then Saturday, Alex is gonna come over after her and Maggie get back from a concert and I have that conference around 6 so we all should be home around the same time. Maybe you could hang out at the apartment or something." Kara told her as the game plan was laid out.

Maia packed her clothes, a mixture of cute and comfy and lazy. She made sure to back her charge cord, tooth brush, hair brush and her laptop just in case.

She was now waiting almost impatiently with her mother in the porch as Kara flew over to get her.

Kara landed on the front porch gracefully, immediately moving to hug Eliza.

"I get the whole Supergirl experience today, huh?" Maia teased as she pulled at Kara's cape.

The blonde had decided that it was best if she came dressed in her Supergirl costume, just in case anyone saw her flying, they wouldn't have to question why two girls dressed in normal clothing were speeding by over head.

Kara took the backpack from her sister's hands, deciding it would be easier for her to hold onto Maia if she was wearing the backpack and not the brunette.

"You go straight to your apartment, Kara. No five minute trips to Paris." Eliza warned the blonde alien.

"I promise, Eliza." Kara nodded as she put Maia's backpack on underneath her cape.

Kara looked over to her little sister.

"You ready?"

Maia moved to press her self against her sister in a quick hug before practically jumping into the blonde's arms, bridal style.

"Bye, mom. I'll see you in a few days." Maia smiled as she instinctively wrapped her arms around Kara's neck.

"Be careful, my beautiful girls. I will see you Sunday night."

With that, they were off.

It took Kara about 3 minutes to fly them across the country, not wanting to go to fast and hurt Maia or make her sick.

When they arrive at Kara's apartment building, Kara entered through her open window and they landed in the living room.

Maggie was waiting on the couch.

"Baby Danvers!" Maggie cheered as the young brunette steadied herself, the solid ground a little foreign to her at the moment.

"Detective Dimples!" Maia smirked as she headed over to the Latina, plopping down on the couch and hugging her tightly.

"Alex and Lena went to get some pizzas and take out." Maggie informed them.

Maia raised an eyebrow.

"Alex... and Lena."

The only time Alex and Lena went somewhere together was if Kara was in trouble or Alex was giving Lena a 'pep talk' about Kara, which mostly consisted of Alex trying to scare Lena shitless but it never worked bc the Luthor was made of stone fear wise, and it took a lot to scare her.

"I think Alex is trying to bond with her or something."

Speaking of the two women, the front door to Kara's apartment opened and an excited looking Alex entered with a smiling Lena.

Well that's strange.

"Kara! Your girlfriend used to listen to all the punk rock bands I listened to!"

The youngest brunette scoffed as she and Maggie got up off the couch and headed over to the kitchen island that the door was being sat on.

"Listened? Past tense? Make that still listen to. Present tense." Maia teased Alex, dodging the swat that came her way.

"We can send you back to Midvale." Alex threatened playfully.

Maia rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around her sister.

"You wouldn't." She said knowingly.

"You're right." Alex nodded as she grabbed a serving spoon for the fried rice and some plates.

"Obviously." Maia hummed as she rounded the counter and hugged Lena.

"Hey, Lena."

"How was your trip over here?" The CEO asked as she shrugged off her coat, leaving her in her signature blouse and pencil skirt.

"Windy." The younger green eyed girl smirked.

"Okay, smart ass. Let's eat." Maggie said eagerly.

The night proceeded like that, light and playful and full of smart ass remarks from Maia and Maggie mostly.

As the girls got ready to sleep, they found themselves arguing about who would sleep where all of them wanting Maia comfortable, but the eighteen year old refusing to sleep anywhere but in the oversized chair next to Kara's bed.

Maia put her foot down on the situation.

"Lena, get your ass in bed with Kara or I swear to god.." Maia trailed off as she shoved the CEO onto Kara's bed, landing smack dab on top of the laughing alien.

"Maggie, I don't wanna hear a peep out of you either. I'm telling you guys to sleep with my sisters," Maia grumbled as she situated herself onto the oversized chair next, wrapping the comforter around herself, "consider yourselves lucky."

"Yes ma'am." Maggie saluted the teenager playfully as she snuggled against Alex's chest.

Maia narrowed her eyes at the sarcastic comment and flipped Maggie off.

"Watch it, Sawyer." The youngest brunette in the room warned.

"Or what?" The Latina challenged.

"Stop antagonizing my baby sister." Alex chuckled.

"Goodnight guys, love you all."

A chorus of 'I love you's' and 'good nights' from Kara, Lena, and Alex and a 'screw you Baby Danvers' from Maggie rang out into the dark room.

The young girl smiled.

Moments like this...

This is what Maia lived for.

…

It was Saturday evening and the gang sat in a cute little diner eating dinner.

Friday had passed without a hitch. They all hung out until around 3 when Alex and Maggie headed out to get ready for their concert at 6:30 and Lena went over to LCorp to finish up some paperwork that she had been neglecting.

Kara had left around 5:30 to go to her conference and Maia stayed at Kara's apartment watching reruns of Law and Order: SVU and eating ice cream and left over pizza.

Kara came back around 10 and the two of them headed to bed because the blonde superhero was exhausted from being hounded by Snapper.

For some reason, it was a bad day for Maia for no particular reason. She woke up feeling like her chest was going to explode and she had a mini panic attack in Kara's bathroom.

Of course the blonde heard it, alerted by the pounding of her heart, and immediately rushed to her side.

She wasn't doing much better as she sat on the inside of the booth that she was sharing with Kara. Alex and Maggie sat across from them on the other one and Lena in a chair at the end of the table next to Kara.

She was tiny enough that she had room on the booth to pull her knees up to her chest and lean against the window she was sitting next to. The rain was falling heavily from the dark National City sky, giving the street a hazy glow in the yellow streetlights.

Everything just felt so surreal to her nowadays. She felt like her life was just some movie that was playing and nobody cared to watch it. She had always been the least favorite out of her sisters to her entire family and when she used to be friends with people her age, they always used her to get in the position to talk to her older sisters.

The worst part about it was that her mother accepted Alex and Kara instantly when they both came out, but not her. Her mother told her she wasn't old enough to know who or what she liked at the age of twelve when she tried to tell her that she had a girlfriend.

It had always been that way though. Kara or Alex could do something and it's relatively fine, but if Maia did it, all hell broke loose.

They had told her when she was 13 the story of how she came to be in the Danvers’ household. She had been found in a cardboard box on the side of the road that the Danvers just so happened to be stopped by while changing a flat tire.

Maia didn't believe a single word of that story.

It was too convenient to be true and she felt too unwanted for them to have willingly taken her in.

She was the complicated, adopted child that nobody really wanted. Her grandparents never really cared for her. Jeremiah tried to love her but they all knew he couldn't. Not in the way that she craved to be loved by a father. He was too busy with Kara and Alex and being away on the job.

Why would he spend his precious free time with the adoptive child he didn't agree to? She was pretty sure he resented her to a certain extent.

The only thing she had going was Alex’s and Kara's unconditional love. They always loved her.

She never questioned that.

She felt a nudge on her thigh and her eyes shot over to Alex in front of her. The older girl looked down at Maia's barely eaten food and tilted her head to the side as she looked back at her.

The younger girl slowly adjusted herself to sit with her feet on the ground as she looked at the plate of baked chicken and pasta that suddenly seemed less appealing as it did when she ordered it.

Then again, everything had been like that since she fell into the depression she was going through.

“Maia?”

The raven haired girl broke her gaze at the blurry street and turned back to her friends and away from her food.

“Hmm? Sorry.”

“Maggie asked if you were going to go with us to Lena’s gala next Friday.”

“Oh, uh… I don't know. Maybe. Mom would have a cow if she found out I went to a social gathering that consisted of more than 7 people.”

“Oh come on! You have to! Even Lucy is flying in from DC to attend. What would I do without our Baby Danvers there?” Lena asked playfully but seriously all the same.

“I…”

Maia trailed of, pushing her food around on her plate. She was nervous about being in such a large crowd to say the least.

Lena realized she might be pushing a little too hard and she decided to back off.

“Just think about it a little more and then call me and let me know what you decide.” Lena suggested.

Maia's eyes darted back up and gave her friend a grateful smile.

Bless Lena for knowing about the little signs of distress.

“Yeah… of course.” Maia nodded.

"No that that's settled, eat." Alex told her youngest sister sternly as you looked pointedly at the still full plate.

"Right."

The eighteen year old reached for her knife, not paying attention to where she was grabbing and her hand enclosed around the blade.

She practically jumped out of her skin as she felt the familiar pinch on the skin of her hand and the warmth spread across it.

Her panicked eyes landed on the crimson color budding in her palm.

Kara instantly grabbed some clean napkins and pressed them to her hand, not like the way her heart was pounding again.

Maia was frozen until she began to push frantically on Kara, forcing her to get up out of the booth, sliding her own self out and rushing off to the bathroom.

She checked to see if anyone was in there and luckily no one was.

The brunette hurried over to the paper towel dispenser and balled up a piece holding it in her fist, grunting at the uncomfortableness of the rough paper against her open cut.

She rushed into the handicap stall, locking it and closing her eyes as she tried to calm herself down and not look at her bleeding hand.

Maia bit the knuckles of her uninjured hand to keep from sobbing in the restaurant's bathroom.

This could not be happening.

Why was that day so bad for her?

She was with the people who loved her the most.

Why couldn't she just keep her shit together for the weekend?

That's what she gets for getting comfortable.

She was happy for too long, it was bound to go south at any minute.

She should've known better.

"Maia?"

She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard Lena's voice fill the vacant restroom. The younger brunette moved and quickly unlocked the door to the stall, Lena taking the hint and entering it.

Lena assessed the shaking Maia as quickly as she could. She wasn't quite having a panic attack but she was close.

The older woman took the younger into her arms and held her close against her. The teen stood stiffly in the CEO's arms, but that didn't stop her from leaning into the hold.

"I didn't mean to." Maia whimpered as she squeezed the balled up paper towel in her hand tighter, keeping it pulled to her chest as a semi-barrier between her and Lena.

"We know that, Maia. We know."

"I-I wasn't looking and I grabbed the knife part instead of the handle.. I swear.. I swear, Lena, I didn't mean to!"

The younger girl was starting to panic and Lena knew she had to act fast because she knew Maia was on the fast track to a panic attack.

"Hey, you're okay. It was an accident. It happens. I'm here. You're alright, Maia. Tell me you're okay." Lena coached who she viewed as her younger sister through the panic that used to be so familiar with.

Maia closed her eyes and tried to focus on the very faint sound of Lena's heart beat instead of her own pounding one in her ears. She breathed in, completely overtaken by Lena's flowery perfume and the faint scent of Kara that always lingered on the billionaire's skin.

This was safe.

She was safe.

"I'm okay." Maia's voice trembled as she allowed herself to be cradled by the older brunette.

"Tell me again."

Maia gripped at Lena's expensive blouse like it was a lifeline keeping her grounded.

"I'm okay. I'm safe." She repeated.

"Yes you are, Maia. Now, let me see it."

Lena examined the cut.

It was shallower than all the blood entailed and it was a clean cut, which was good because it would heal faster. The bleeding had mostly stopped which was also a good thing.

"It's mostly stopped.

"We can go." Maia hummed as she was the first to leave the stall, waiting for Lena outside of it.

"Thank you... again. For dealing with my shit." Maia said shyly as she pressed a clean paper towel to her hand for the ride back to Kara's and then she would bandage it properly.

"Don't thank me, Maia. You're like my sister. I'd do anything to make sure you're okay." Lena assured her, opening the restroom door for her and following out behind her.

"Everything okay?" Maggie asked with a sad smile as she rubbed Maia's back.

"Yeah. I'm okay." Maia nodded using the mantra that Lena had made her do.

"Well why don't we head in for the night?" Alex suggested, grabbing the to go box that they had put Maia's food in.

Alex, Maggie, and Maia headed out the door, but Kara pulls on Lena's hand, keeping her from exiting. Lena found herself being kissed deeply by the superhero and she completely melted into it.

"You're so amazing, baby." Kara hummed against Lena's lips.

"You heard me?" Lena asked bashfully as she rubbed her nose against her girlfriend's.

"I was scared for her. I knew you had it handled but I just wanted to check in so I listened. You're so good with her, Lena. You know how to handle the parts that me and Alex don't understand and I couldn't thank you enough for taking care of my baby sister."

Lena smiled up at the blonde, amazed that she had people like this in her life- that she had a girlfriend like this in her life.

The CEO always imagined herself alone and sad, probably dead by 30, when she was younger. That was before Kara Danvers appeared in her life and showed and gave her things that she never could've imagined herself having before.

…

Maia sat in at one of the outside tables at Noonan's, craving the fresh, 70 degree air.

Today was better.

Today was good.

She was happy and at peace.

She had texted Maggie asking her to meet her there for some lunch because, honestly, she missed her a lot.

They hadn't had a lot of time to spend time together just the two of them, especially with how hectic it had been the past month or so.

With Maia's stuff and scheduling issues, the time had never been available for the two of them to have girl time.

Kara and Alex were called away on some Supergirl business and Lena was super busy over at LCorp, so Maia decided to snag the opportunity to grab some lunch with Maggie while she was on break.

"My favorite detective." Maia beamed at Maggie as she walked up to the table, a smiling hostess escorting her to the younger girl.

"Aww, don't get sappy on me now, Baby Danvers." Maggie teased as Maia stood up and she hugged her tightly.

After a long hug, the two broke apart and took their respective seats on the wrought iron chairs across from each other.

"So what are you thinking about doing once you graduate? Alex told me your gonna graduate early because you have all you credits. You're just finishing up English right?" Maggie asked as she grabbed the menu and started to skim through it.

"Yeah. Just gotta take an exam in November and then I'm done. I'm really leaning towards possibly becoming a D.E.O. agent. I don't know... Alex and Kara and you and even Lena and Winn and James and Lucy are all in the business of saving people and helping people and I want to be a part of that." Maia admitted but quickly went on to say, "I haven't told anyone that yet because I know how Alex and Kara will instantly go into protective big sister mode and try and change my mind. So don't tell them please."

"No worries, kid. I won't them them. I think that's very admirable that you want to do that. I could start helping you train with some tactical moves and stuff. Take you to the gun range." Maggie offered.

"Really? I don't want to bother you with it."

"Maia Danvers, you're my girlfriend's little sister. You're always a bother." The Latina teased playfully causing Maia to laugh.

This was good.

She was good.

The waiter came over and reintroducing himself since Maggie was now there, and bringing them the waters that Maia had ordered. They went ahead and placed their orders, Maggie ordering a chicken Caesar salad and Maia ordering a turkey wrap, the both of them splitting an order of cheese sticks as an appetizer.

The waiter left to place their order and Maia suddenly remembered that she had to go home later on.

"I have to go back to Midvale tonight." Maia sighed as she took a sip of water.

"I know you hate it, but you're almost done." The older woman tried to encourage, but it only caused Maia to shrug and slump back in her seat.

"I don't think my mother would let me leave anytime soon." Maia told her truthfully.

They were interrupted again as their cheese sticks were brought out to them.

"Anyways, how are things with you and Alex? My sister still got you drooling?" Maia wondered as she dipped her cheese stick into the marinara before chopping down on it.

"We are great. She wants to adopt a puppy soon but I don't know about that because we aren't home very much." Maggie said truthfully.

"Give my sister what she wants, Sawyer." Maia glared but quickly broke into a light laugh, "no you're right. You guys aren't ever home so it wouldn't be a good idea to get a puppy. At least not right now." Maia agreed.

The pair engaged in light banter and conversation the way that they always did and they ate their food when it came out, sharing bites of their foods here and there.

They parted ways soon after they had finished eating, Maggie's break time running out and she had been called away on a case.

Maia was glad that she got to spend this time with Maggie. It was much needed.

Maggie was Maia's comedic relief most of the time. The banter coming naturally between the both of them.

The Latina always knew how to make the teenager feel lighter and les stressed even if it was just during the time that they were hanging out.

Maia couldn't have been more thankful for the people in her life that her sisters so graciously shared with her.

She wouldn't be here without them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! Feedback makes me so happy! And follow my tumblr if you don't already
> 
> @supergirl-fics-imagines


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of a filler? Gala is coming up next and things start to pick up then ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Maia Danvers is my own, original character (and possibly a few future characters are my own as well). All other Supergirl characters are owned by DC and The CW.
> 
> ALSO: TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS/DEPRESSION/ SELF SABBOTAGE/FORMS OF SELF DESTRUCTION AND SELF HARM!!! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!!

"How have you been this week, Maia?" Dr Levier asked as Maia settled into the leather couch.

"Oh, you know. Sitting at home talking to my sisters and their girlfriends over FaceTime because I have no friends and no life. The usual." Maia told her with a teasing laugh.

Dr. Levier set out a hum as she scribbled in her notepad.

"Explain to me exactly why the only friends you have are your sister's friends."

"Well... I had friends my age before what happened, happened. But I always meshed with my sisters friends and their girlfriends. I don't know? I think I just get along with older people better. Everyone always says I have an old soul. I think I was born in the wrong generation." Maia admitted with a shrug.

"Do you think it's healthy for you to have friends that are 7 plus years older than you?"

Maia looked at the woman wearily.

Was she trying to tear into her now?

Dr. Levier saw the hesitance on Maia's face and she quickly went to clear up the air.

"That's not a trick question, Maia. I'm genuinely asking. I just want to hear your thoughts on it."

"I mean.. I don't think it's unhealthy?" The brunette mumbled, suddenly unsure and self-conscious.

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

Maia glared at the doctor for being so harsh with her.

This was not how their normal sessions went.

"I.. they take care of me. They love me. At least I like to think they love me but sometimes I feel annoying. I hope it's okay that I'm friends with them. Maybe I just annoy them." Maia was starting to overthink every interaction with all of the people she held closest.

"I'm sure that if you annoyed them, they wouldn't have allowed you to get so close to them." Dr. Levier offered in comfort.

"I guess. It's just, after what happened, I'm so needy and whiny and I just feel like I'm making them take on something they didn't sign up for. Especially Lena. Anytime I see her it's just like I spit out everything I'm feeling and everything that hurts and she just sits there and listens and talks with me, but at the same time, I'm taking her away from Kara."

Dr. Levier nodded.

"And how do you think that's affecting them?"

Maia shrugged.

"They seem fine." Maia admitted.

"Then why are you worried about it?"

Maia pauses thinking about it. Why was she so worried about it? Who was she kidding? She was terrified of losing people.

"I don't want anything to happen with them because I took them away from each other."

"Why do you think something will happen?"

"Because after what happened... everything has been about me and they focus more on me than each other and it scares me."

"It scares you?"

"Yeah, because I don't want Lena and Kara to break up or for Maggie and Alex to break up. I want everything to stay the same. I don't want to lose anyone else."

"What do you mean by lose anyone else?"

The mixed feelings she had about Jeremiah suddenly washed over her, along with the pain of knowing her birth parents didn't want her.

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore." Maia retreated.

"Okay. That's okay. Tell me about what you have planned for the weekend. Your mother mentioned a gala?"

"Yeah.. is that okay?"

"I think this will be a good gauge of where you are at in your recovery. You have my phone number so if it gets too much, you can call me whenever you need."

"Thanks."

"Are you nervous?"

"Kind of? I mean, I haven't been around a large gathering since I left school over a month ago. I know that my sisters and Lena and Maggie and Lucy will take care of me."

"Lucy? I haven't heard much of this Lucy person."

"She's James' ex girlfriend. She's slept with Alex and Maggie a few times. It's horrifying how much they tell me actually," Maia laughed at thought of how open her friends and sisters were with her about their disgusting sex lives, "but anyways, Lucy is awesome. She's a Major in the army and she's a total badass. I mean they all are but she saved my sister from becoming a lab rat for Cadmus. I haven't seen her since she came to visit me in the hospital that one day." The brunette trailed off as she traveled back to that day.

-Flashback: 7 weeks ago-

Maia's mind was foggy as she ever so slowly woke up from the sedative she had been given the night before due to a break down.

She hated the way the sedation made her feel waking up. Maia always felt weightless but not in the good way.

Her green eyes opened, taking a few seconds to adjust to the bright lights and for her vision to stop swirling.

Standing by the window and looking out at the raining sky, drowning the city outside of the drab hospital, dressed in her Army formal dress attire , her hat clutched at her hip, stood Lucy Lane.

Maia just watched for a moment because she wanted to make sure that she wasn't hallucinating or imagining this.

Lucy was supposed to be in Washington DC- not in a hospital room in Midvale.

It was only about a two hour drive, but Maia knew that Lucy must to have been given leave because she wasn't just allowed to leave as she pleases.

"Lucy." Maia whispered as a ghost of a smile played on her lips.

The brunette woman turned at the sound of her name, a look of relief washing over her face as she saw Maia awake.

"Hey, munchkin." Lucy smiled sadly as she realized the younger brunette was awake.

"I'm taller than you." The eighteen year old grumbled but fell silent as Lucy walked over and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"You used to not be. So, I will call you munchkin all I want." Lucy teased as she caressed Maia's unusually paler than normal cheek.

Lucy knew it was because of the blood loss and all the medicines that were being pumped into her.

It broke her heart to see her so... broken.

"Hey, come back to me." Maia whispered, seeing that Lucy had zoned out a bit.

Lucy sharply inhaled as she sunk down into the chair by Maia's bedside.

"I was so scared, Maia. Alex called and she told me what happened and, oh god- I was so scared. I had to convince the people above me to allow me to drive out here so I could see you for myself."

Lucy bit down on her lower lip to keep it from trembling. She wanted to stay strong for Maia because she knew that's what she needed in that moment.

Maia digested all the words that Lucy had blurted out her and she settle on trying to keep the conversation from getting darker than the underlying reason they were both there already was.

"How long are you here for?"

"I can stay until tomorrow. I have to drive back to DC at 8 tomorrow night."

Maia nodded, a little disappointed that she wouldn't get to spend much time with Lucy.

She never got to see her much because of scheduling and everything. Whenever Lucy would get to go back to National City, Maia had school or she would have a swim meet or a soccer game.

One time, her sisters and Maggie and Lena and James and Winn and J'onn and M'gann had all surprised her at one of her soccer games, and to all of their surprise, Lucy showed up at halftime in her Army BDU's as she had just come back from a mission. Needless to say, Maia has ran across the field and almost tackled the tiny woman.

Maia and Lucy had actually trended on social media for months because one of the moms had recorded the reunion and the internet is a sucker for soldier coming home videos.

The teenager was pulled out of her thoughts as she heard a shuttered sob escape Lucy's lips.

Well so much for Lucy staying strong.

"No, Lucy.. please don't cry." Maia trembled as Lucy fingers traced the bandages of her left arm.

"Why would you do this, Maia? What about all of us? What about me? I haven't seen you in months, kid. What if I never got to see you again?"

She knew it was selfish of her to be thinking about herself but Lucy's heart hurt at the thought of never being able to see the green eyed girl again.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm so sorry." Maia whimpered.

-End Flashback-

"Maia? Are you with me?"

Maia slowly came back to reality as she made eye contact with Dr. Levier.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Just the last time I saw Lucy. She was so sad." Maia mumbled.

"About what?" Dr. Levier asked, fishing for Maia to say what she wanted to hear.

"About what I did." Maia told her, confused.

"What did you do?" The doctor questioned again.

"Seriously? It's the whole damn reason I'm here!" Maia threw her hands up in confusion and irritation.

"You always avoid saying you attempted suicide. Why?"

Maia just stared at the aging blonde woman, wondering when her shrink decided to become so bold and pushy and invasive.

Usually Dr. Levier would dance around whatever topics Maia needed to have danced around, but they were only five minutes in and the older woman was jabbing all of her sore spots.

"If you keep avoiding the topics, we will never make any progress." The blonde woman said matter of factly.

"Aren't you supposed to just let me say what I want to and write it down on your little note pad." Maia glared and crosses her arms.

"If you don't want my help, I don't have to give it to you." Dr. Levier closed her notepad and took off her glasses.

"What?" Maia was lost.

"We can sit here in silence for an hour, Maia. I get paid either way."

The brunette paused.

"Excuse me?"

Dr. Levier just looked at Maia with her piercing grey eyes, proving that she meant what she said.

Maia grew angry at the way her doctor was acting and scared that Dr. Levier was giving up on her as well.

She couldn't help but explode.

"What do you want me to say? That I fucking slit my wrists and downed a bottle of pills because I didn't wanna fucking be here anymore? That I tried to kill myself because I feel like I'm just a burden to everyone and I'm wasting everyone's time? Because I feel like my mom is breaking because of me? I tried to kill myself because I feel like I'll never fit in anywhere and I'm just taking over Kara and Alex's lives and not giving them their own lives. Is that what you want to hear?"

Maia was shaking in anger as angry tears trailed down her cheeks. She wasn't one to blow up and get angry like that and it made her heart pound and her head spin.

"Congratulations, Maia." Dr. Levier smiled.

The eighteen year old felt as though she had been slapped in the face.

Her emotions were doing a complete 180 spin on her and she was honestly just so exhausted at that point.

"What the hell?" Maia whimpered as she pulled her knees to her chest on the couch

"You have moved out of Step One and into Step Two. Accepting my help and admitting what happened. I think we will stop there for today. I know it's been a lot."

Maia just cried into her knees.

She could feel her heart going a mile a minute and she didn't know what to feel. Everything was just so confusing.

It had hurt to say it out loud- to say why she didn't feel worthy of her life, but it also felt like a weight was lifted off of her chest.

Maybe they were finally getting somewhere.

...

The therapy session the night before had drained Maia, but not enough to where when Kara showed up early that morning asking if she could have Maia early, that she said no.

Maia was walking past Jess' desk and sat a coffee in it as she passed to Lena's office door.

"Thanks for the coffee, hun." Jess smiled as Maia as she walked by.

Maia just smiled at the assistant as she pushed open the door to Lena's office.

“Hey, Lena.” Maia smiled as she entered the CEO’s office.

She had a takeout bag in one hand and a cold brewed coffee in the other.

“Maia! You're back!" Lena beamed, surprised that the brunette was in town already.

"Yeah! Kara got me this morning." Maia informed her as she walked up to the desk.

"Are you alright?”

“I'm.. yeah.” Maia nodded truthfully as she sat down in the chair across from Lena's, setting the take out bag and the coffee on the woman's desk.

“From Kara. Snapper piled a lot of work on her today and she couldn't get away but she said, and I quote, ‘tell Lena if she doesn't eat, she doesn't get any dessert and tell her that I love her’. Now I don't wanna know anything about that so just take it and say nothing.” Maia grumbled, hating the fact that her sister would say something so suggestive for her to pass along.

“Oh, that sister of yours.” Lena chuckled as she opened up the bag, pulling out a kale salad and the plastic fork.

“Tell me about it.

“Where's your food?” Lena asked.

“Oh.. I ate before I came.” She mumbled looking away from Lena.

Lena just look at her.

“Tell that to someone who believes it.” Lena said with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I didn't.” Maia sighed.

Lena reached over to her landline phone and pressed a button, the intercom on it going off.

“Yes, Miss Luthor?”

It was Jess.

“Jess, call Noonan’s and have them deliver an order of grilled chicken Caesar salad and a lemonade please. Put it in my card.” Lena instructed.

“Right away!”

Lena pulled her hand away from the intercom and glanced at Maia who was looking at her with guilt.

“You didn't have to do that.” Maia mumbled sheepishly.

“Of course I did, Maia. Can't have you starving either or your sister will be upset and I won't get my dessert.” Lena smirked as she saw the uncomfortable brunette frown but then smile instantly.

“I really wish you and Kara and Maggie and Alex and Lucy would stop thinking it's okay to torture me with your sex lives.” Maia grumbled but the smile remained in her face nonetheless.

Lena just chuckled and decided to change the subject.

“You don't understand how glad I am that you decided to come to my gala.” Lena admitted as she took a sip from her coffee, waiting to eat until Maia's food got there.

“Why? Not like you'll get to stick around me very much. You gotta mingle with the cocky, sexist men.” Maia teased.

“True, but that doesn't mean that you being their doesn't make me happy.”

“I suppose so, Miss Luthor.” Maia smirked.

Lena cracked a smile as she looked over towards her computer and quickly typed in some numbers into their budget.

Maia took that time to think about everything that could go wrong at the gala.

What if I have a meltdown?

What if I have a panic attack right in front of everyone?

I'll embarrass Lena and my sisters and everyone.

Maia hated overthinking and thinking she was going to mess everything up but the worries were real and she was terrified of messing up.

“Lena?” The teenager mumbled as she picked at the hem of her oversized blue sweater.

“Yes?” Lena hummed and then she shut the laptop to give Maia her full attention.

“What if I freak out? What if I freak out and embarrass all of you? I haven't really been around a bunch of people at once since I left Midvale High.”

The fear was real but Lena wasn't going to enable Maia to think about it for much longer.

“You won't embarrass anyone, Maia. If it gets too much, you come find me and I will get you out of there, okay?”

Maia nodded but the weight in her chest didn't get any lighter. She knew she was about to confide in Lena again.

She should really start paying her sister's girlfriend for being something like her second shrink.

“I feel like such a burden to you guys. Especially you… I always put my heavy stuff onto you.”

“Hey! If I didn't want to help you, I wouldn't. But you're Maia Danvers. I'll always want to help you.” Lena tried to lighten the mood but saw that Maia wasn't having it.

“I just.. I don't know. Never mind. Thank you.” Maia retreated.

“What were you going to say?” Lena asked.

“It's noth-”

Lena quickly stopped her.

“No, Maia. You know I won't let it go. Might as well tell me.”

Maia bit her lower lip in contemplation.

She looked up to look into matching green ones.

“I just love you, Lena. You're family and your practically my sister and I know that I'm a lot. I just really appreciate you not getting freaked out by me and my crazy.” Maia told her with a sad smiled, not looking up from her lap.

Lena's heart stuttered and she quickly stood up from her chair, pulling the younger girl up out of hers and right into her arms.

“I love you too, Maia. You're not crazy. Nobody here is crazy.”

The younger brunette smiled sadly into Lena's shoulder.

“Okay, but Lena? You are kinda crazy.” Maia teased.

“Ruined it.” Lena sighed playfully as she started to pull away but Maia's arms tightened around her and she heard her breath hitch.

“No.”

The little protest almost broke Lena's heart.

“I've got you.” Lena promised as she situated herself to hold Maia more securely.

The older woman moved her arms so one wrapped around Maia’s back and the other hand was cupped against the back of her head, holding her close.

Lena sometimes forgot that Maia was different than her in means of comfort. While Lena preferred her distance and to comfort herself, Maia craved validation and touch and warmth.

If Lena would've met Maia two or three years ago and this was the situation happening, the older woman would've shrunk away and shunned the physical contact and comfort.

Kara had changed Lena in bounds in all the best ways.

Maia’s hands were trembling against Lena's back and didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, but the knock on the door said otherwise.

“I'm sorry.” Maia mumbled as came back to reality and she gently pulled back and out of Lena's reach.

“Hush. You have to learn to stop apologizing for needing someone.”

Maia paused, looking like she wanted to say something but decided not to as she nodded and headed over to the door.

“Thanks, Jess.”

“Of course, Maia.”

"Come on let’s eat at the couch." Lena offered as she grabbed her salad and drink.

The pair settled, Maia sitting with one leg curled under her so she could sit angled towards Lena with her own bowl in her lap and her drink resting on the table. Lena was facing forward with her knees crossed and her food resting on her skirt clad thighs.

“Do you think, maybe I can stay here with you until we go to your place tonight? I know you have meetings. I won't bother you I promise I just-”

“Maia.”

“Yeah?” She hummed bashfully.

“Stop rambling like your sister. No matter how adorable it is, it's unnecessary. You are always welcome to keep me company.”

“Thanks, Lena.”

…

Maia was tired.

So freaking tired as she and Lena entered the older woman's apartment.

"Look what I found out on the streets." Alex smirked as she rounded the corner of the couch to reveal none other than Lucy Lane who was wearing her signature smirk.

"Lucy!" Maia squealed, all exhaustion leaving her as the excitement of seeing the soldier took over.

The raven haired girl ran and pounced onto Lucy, successfully knocking them both backwards and against the arm of the couch.

"I'm so glad you're back." Maia giggled and not moving from her position on top of the army major.

Her knees were on either side of Lucy’s hips and her arms were on either side of her head, bracing against the arm of the couch to allow herself to hover over her.

“Alright, Baby Danvers. You are not near old enough to be in this position with me.” Lucy smirked as she grabbed Maia’s hips and moved held onto her so she wouldn’t fall as she sat them back up.

“Oh, please! I'm well past old enough for anything you decide to do to me to be legal.” Maia teased lowly so no one but Lucy could hear her.

“Glad to see you’re back to your inappropriately flirtatious self.” Lucy noted as she hugged Maia once more before shoving her off of her and onto the couch the other side of the couch.

“Bitch.” Maia grumbled as she rolled off of the couch and looked around to see Lena over in the kitchen pouring glasses of wine with Kara snuggled into her back and her arms wrapped around her waist, swaying them gently.

Maggie was off to the side of the living room, looking out of the large window that look out onto the vast city. Alex was by Maggie’s side looking at all the beauty that was Maggie with the city lights illuminating her features.

Her sisters were so happy and she couldn’t help the twinge of content she felt at knowing they weren’t alone anymore.

Maybe she didn’t need to worry about them so much anymore.

“Hey? What is with you and spacing out when I’m around?” Lucy asked as she looked up at her from her spot on the couch.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” The eighteen year old smirked.

Maia was always very private with her thoughts and feelings until recently and this mysterious, playful Maia that was peeking her head through the darkness that had taken over the brunette was very refreshing.

“Okay! It’s dress time, Maia!” Kara announced loudly enough to draw everyone’s attention.

Once everyone had gathered in Lena’s living room and settled and the glasses of wine were passed out, Kara pulled several dressed out of a black dress protector bag.

They had gone through a few pastel colored dresses that had obviously came from Kara’s closet, a few black and blue that had come from Maggies and a couple reds and blacks from Alex’s.

All of them were beautiful but none of them were what Maia could envision herself wearing.

Kara held up one last sleeveless red dress and everyone fawned over it.

“That's the one, Maia!” Alex confirmed.

“I can't wear that.” Maia smiled sadly at her sisters and their girlfriends and Lucy.

“Why not?”

Maia looked down at the sleeve of her sweater that she had yanked down to her knuckles.

“Oh.” Kara mumbled as she sat the dress back down in the ‘no’ pile.

“Yeah.” The younger girl chuckled as she pulled on the ends of her sleeves, like they were already past her fingers.

It was a bad habit. Just like Kara and her glasses when she gets nervous or flustered.

She didn’t blame them for not thinking about the dress needing long sleeves because honestly, before a month ago, sleeveless was her go to outfits.

“I think I have something for you in my room. Come on.” Lena gently placed a hand on Maia’s back and led her to her bedroom.

The two entered Lena’s room and Maia instantly wandered over to the CEO’S vanity, looking at all the pictures of Kara and Lena and the one with her, Kara, Lena, Maggie, Lucy, J’onn, M’gann, James, Alex, Winn, Sam, and Ruby. It was at Alex’s birthday party back in September. They had thrown at Kara’s place and Winn had insisted on taking a picture with everyone together.

The fond memory made Maia smile and the fact that Lena had it on her vanity for her to see every morning made her even happier.

“I bought it the other day when you told me you were coming. I figured you needed a dress.” Lena explained, bringing Maia back.

The younger brunette turned to see Lena emerging from the closet with dress in hand. Maia gawked at the black lace two piece dress that Lena had pulled out of her closet.

She was speechless.

“Here, try it on. Come back out and let us see when you’re ready.” Lena told her as she exited her bedroom.

Maia looked at the delicate weaving of the lace/mesh material and traced over how the lacing turned solid at the chest piece in a sweetheart styled underpiece. The satin skirt sat right above her belly button leaving about an inch of her smooth, muscled abdomen on display,and stopped mid thigh in a loose, flowing material.

She felt so beautiful in the dress as she stepped into the black red bottom heels that Lena had sat out with the dress. Maia knew for a fact that this outfit was not cheap and she didn’t know how she would be able to pay Lena back for making her feel like a princess.

Maia exited Lena’s bedroom with a broad smile and entered the living room where everyone was waiting.

Alex literally teared up at the sight of Maia.

“Aww, Maia.” She mumbled out as she got up from the couch and pulled her sister into her arms.

“Stop being such a mom, Alex.” Maia hummed as she squeezed her sister tight and then pulled away so she could stare at her dress some more.

“You've never looked more like Lena than right now.” Kara gawked.

Maia just rolled her eyes because she honestly couldn’t count all the times that she had heard that sentence from everyone.

“God, the things I'd do to you.” Lucy teased, completely kidding… well possibly kidding.

“Lucy!” Maia gasped as her cheeks turned red with a blush, her edgy and flirty mood gone for the moment.

“Cool your jets, Luce.” Alex warned, knowing Lucy wasn't playing.

“I’m just sayin, Baby Danvers looks hot as hell.” Lucy hummed as she leaned back into the couch with a giggle.

Maia rolled her green eyes as she looked over at Lena who was sipping from her wine glass with a smile on her lips as she did so.

“Thank you.” The eighteen year old smiled softly.

Lena nodded as she snuggled into Kara's warm side.

Suddenly, Maia found herself in the teasing mood again and she looked over to lucy with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Maia sat down sideways on Lucy's lap, crossing her knees and wrapping her arms around the army major's neck.

"So about those things you'd do to me.." Maia smirked knowing that she was about to drive her sisters crazy.

Lucy's jaw just dropped in response- completely caught off guard.

"Maia!" Alex gasped as Maggie busted it into full on laughter at Maia's antics.

“Jeez, kid. You’re trying to get Alex to kill Lucy aren’t you?” Maggie asked.

It was nice to see glimpses of the old, playful Maia peeking through the sad one.

"Gosh, I'm playing! Some people are so touchy." The green eyed girl giggled.

"Okay, Rizzo." Kara rolled her eyes at her sister's Grease reference.

Maia absentmindedly played with the baby hairs at the nape of Lucy's neck as she relaxed against the brunette, resting her head against the side of Lucy's.  
Suddenly, Alex’s phone was ringing.

“Too close.” Alex warned giving Lucy and Maia both a glare as she went to grab her phone off of the coffee table

Maia just rolled her eyes, not moving an inch, knowing that she was driving Alex up a wall and messing with Lucy at the same time.

It was a win-win!

She closed her eyes as she let herself bathe in the warmth that was radiating from Lucy’s body that was pressed into her and the contentedness that she was feeling with the company that she was keeping.

"Hey mom."

Maia's eyes popped open as she looked over to Alex who was looking back at her.

So much for that bliss.

"Yes she ate with Lena."

Maia groaned knowing that her mother was giving Alex the third degree about her.

"She's okay. We just found her a dress for tomorrow."

Alex looked over to Maia nervously knowing that whatever her mother was saying would ruin the mood Maia was in.

"She's right here."

The brunette sighed as she pulled away from Lucy, standing up as she took the phone from Alex’s hand. As Alex went to drop her hand, Maia quickly took it into her own, needing the support to talk to her mom when she was in the helicopter mode that Maia knew she was in.

"Yeah?" Maia answered.

"How are you?" Eliza asked.

"I'm great. Lucy's back!" Maia beamed as she looked down at Lucy who was smiling at her supportively.

"That’s great, sweetheart! Tell her I said hello.” Eliza said politely.

“I will. Is that all?” Maia asked know full well that that her mother did not call to small talk.

“I'm having second thoughts about you going to this gala." She heard the nervousness in her mother's voice.

And there it was.

She knew this would happen.

"Dr. Levier said it was fine, mom." Maia grumbled as she let go of Alex's hand and wandered over to the window.

"I know she did but I still think it's too soon."

"Mom, it's been over a month now! I made a mistake, okay?" Maia's voice rose and she didn't miss the way a tension filled the room as her words.

Every time she brought up her attempt on her life, everyone always stiffened and got serious like it was some forbidden scripture.

She hated it.

"Have you taken your medicine?"

Maia's face fell.

Of course.

The second she gets upset, she's suddenly off her meds and needs to take them in her mother's eyes.

"Not yet. It’s not time." The green eyed girl told her with a quiet, sad voice.

"I want you to go take it." Eliza told her.

"Okay. Well I'll see you Sunday." Maia mumbled, hanging up before Eliza could say anything else.

She made her way back to the couch and handed the phone back to Alex with her face stoic and hard.

"Hey? What just happened?" Kara asked gently, reaching for her sister but Maia had stepped out of her reach and grabbed her duffle bag from beside the bookshelf.

“I'm kind of tired guys. I think I'm gonna go ahead and shower.” Maia told them, already heading towards the guest bathroom down the hall.

Maia undressed and quickly got into the shower. The spray of the warm water on her head sent Maia into a trance as the thoughts she had been suppressing swirled up to the surface and grew louder and louder in her head.

A month ago she was laying in a hospital bed with her sisters crying by her bedside and her mother blaming herself. She remembered the pinches of the stitches she felt in her arms anytime she moved. She remembered the lightheadedness she felt due to the blood loss. The sorrow and guilt she felt when her sister's would crawl into her hospital bed and sandwich her between them.

A month ago she believed that everything would be easier if she just wasn't around anymore. No more stress for her mother having to watch another teeneager by herself. No more bothering her busy sisters and butting into their lives. No more hating herself and feeling like she was worthless. No more anything.

Now, Maia wasn't sure if anything other than the fact that she didn't want to die.

Maybe the near death experience was what she needed to kickstart her brain back into the 'I-want-to-live' mode.

Granted, she still felt like a burden and she wasn't quite sure if her sisters and their/her friends felt bothered by her, but at least she didn't wanna die anymore.

Right?

Knock, knock!

“Maia, you okay in there?”

Maia came back to reality realizing that the water was turning cold, meaning she had been in there at least 45 minutes.

“Yeah! Sorry! I'll be out in a sec.” The brunette called out.

She turned the knobs to the off position and quickly stepped out, wrapping a fluffy white towel around her body.

Putting her wet hair into a bun, throwing on some sleep shorts and a grey hoodie, Maia stepped out of the bathroom.

She entered the living room to see that both Sam and Ruby had now arrived and Maia just stood in the doorway of living room area, looking at the scene before her.

Kara was snuggled up with Lena on the left side of the couch, Lucy sat beside them with Alex on the other side of her and Maggie on the floor, her back between the redhead's knees. Sam sat on one of the seat of the love seat opposite of the couch and Ruby was on the other.

This.

This was why she was still alive.

This was her family.

"Maia!" Ruby exclaimed when she noticed Maia standing there.

The twelve year old jumped up and ran over to the older teenager in excitement.

“Ruby!”

Maia took the shorter girl into her arms with a laugh, her mood improving tenfold.

“How you doing, kid?” Maia asked as she led Ruby into the kitchen deciding to get some drinks and snacks.

Maia had gotten comfortable enough and had been told billions of times by Lena to stop asking to get snacks and drinks, so it didn’t seem rude to her anymore.  
She dug around the fridge for 8 water bottles and passed some of them to Ruby so she had a free hand to grab the can of cashews off of the counter and the bowl of strawberries Lena had in the fridge.

“I'm good. My recital is this week!” Ruby told her excitedly as she accepted the water bottles that the eighteen year old was handing to her.

“I'll be right there to embarrass the crap out you.” Maia chuckled.

“How are you?" Ruby asked politely.

Maia thought for a second.

She would be honest.

“I’ve been better.” Maia smiled at her honestly.

A beat of silence passed between the two girls as Maia shut the fridge door.

“I just don't understand it.” Ruby admitted sheepishly referring to Maia’s suicide attempt.

They hadn’t shied away from Ruby knowing, but they did leave it up to Sam to be the one to tell her because it opened a whole new side to the world and human emotions to the pre teen that should be handled and answered by her mother.

Maia gave her a small smile and pressed a kiss to the younger girl's temple.

“I hope you never do.” The older teenager told her and led her back into the living room area.

Maia sat down the snacks and passed out the water bottles, making sure to yank Lucy's away before she could grab it.

"You know I could take that water bottle from you and have you on the ground in 2 seconds flat." Lucy deadpanned.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, Luce?" Maia winked as she tossed the water bottle to the woman.

Sam raised her eyebrows in shock at the flirty comment and looked over to Alex who just shook her head.

"Don't even ask." Alex groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my tumblr  
> @supergirl-fics-imagines
> 
> and please please comment :) i love feedback!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't already follow my imagines/fic account on tumblr !! That's where I take request and ideas from anyone who wants to !! 
> 
> @supergirl-fics-imagines


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